The damage of needing approval
NEEDING APPROVAL is like an addiction for many people😣.
If this is you and you want to break this pattern and start thriving in life and in your business let’s take the first few steps.
There’s a little needing approval in us all isn’t there?
We all seek a little approval. Yes I will admit that it’s important to me that my partner approves of something I am passionate about doing because in that way I get more room and less stress to do it. However… on the opposite side of the same coin, there have been times when my partner has disapproved (usually some crazy assed sporting activity i’m doing), but we’ve had good dialogue over it and my partner understands my why and my purpose and therefore we meet half way.
What approval isn’t for me; approval from my partner or my parents or my friends and colleges or even my clients, is not the very oxygen I need. I do not require it for emotional stability, I do not feel rejected, isolated or awkward around people if I don’t get it.
Oh er listen to me go…
It wasn’t always like that though. But now I have a new set of boundaries and a new set of rules and it is extremely freeing to run my business like that.
If you know what i’m talking about and the need for approval haunts your decision making and action taking, you may also have experienced that this type of belief and behaviour leaves you open to abuse from others.
Also if you think about it, how effective and efficient is this behaviour in your life? Your relationships and / or your business? It bloody well wasn’t effective in mine. Let’s look at a few ways you can start changing some of these negative ‘hold me back’ habits and create new more empowering and effective ones;
😊 It has to start with you and your awareness. Being aware of this behaviour, what you are seeking and why you are seeking it for example; “I don’t want people to not like me.” These types of insecurities can lead us to trying to please everyone. What is the worst thing about a having a few really close friends who like AND respect you over trying and I can honestly say not succeeding at, trying for everyone to like you. YOU CAN’T BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE (not even your partner or kids) let that self-limiting thought go. Work on yourself from within you, it’s no one else’s job to heal you, it’s yours and only yours but you can start right now by getting it all out in the open and making a commitment to move forward.
😊ABC. This is where I start with my ‘Ms Tenacity In Business’ programme; Assertiveness, Boundaries and Confidence aka self-worth. There are so many resources out there to help you develop your self-worth that you can tap into, polish your inner strength every day so that you get to shine bright, even in challenging and murky times.
😊We’re not perfect, we’ll never be perfect and actually who wants that really. Accept who you are and develop your own sense of style. Be different, be awesome even where there are scars of being broken and bruised in life. You are one amazing human being to have come this far and you WILL go further.
😊“Yes Karen but she’s better than me, her business is bigger than mine…” Did you just compare yourself to someone else? Now that stops, there’s a reason you are you and that’s because you are not someone else (gotta love my philosophy on life, it’s basic but true).
Be inspired by people, don’t crave to be them.
😊Get away from the negative vibers like right now! Too much bad stuff around us and it’s persuasive like the black hole in space. Wherever you hang out and wherever those emotional vampires are in your life…move away from them. They are keeping you in old patterns, if you want to change patterns of behaviour you will need to change parts of your environment as well otherwise its a bigger slog to take.
It all starts with you and you letting your needing approval self go.
Get tuned in to your inner voice, listen and start challenging some of those beliefs that are coming through. Are you for real with some of your beliefs about not being good enough? Smart enough? Savvy enough? Beautiful enough? Whatever enough? Check in with those thoughts, start a diary or journal; everyone loves a journal but it’s powerful! Don’t hold those thoughts in, get them out and get them put right in their place!
Right then, now i’m off for a chocolate bar and a brew and ain’t no approval needed for my extra break this afternoon 💥
Want some on the spot hacks to roll out the creases and get straight into successful wins? Like my Facebook page: Karen Hickton Coaching