“I can’t say no.”
How many times i’ve heard this as a coach. My client’s telling me that they can’t say no and then listing all of the reasons why they believe that. Some of those reasons are pretty authentic but at the end of the day we can always uncover the fact that they have a choice.
Do you say YES when you actually want to say NO?
Our boundaries set the clear line between what is okay for me and what is not okay for you, boundaries are there for our health, our safety and our security.
There are 7 main boundary categories such as social boundaries, the law, material boundaries, emotional and sexual boundaries.
When our boundaries are healthy, clear and communicated and we in turn observe, listen and respect other people’s boundaries then relationships, health, happiness and success WILL be transformed.
However how many times have we felt misguided or lost with our self care and focus? Working out what is okay and not okay for us isn’t as easy as we may assume at first thought. So much influence and interference as we are trying to develop that sense inside of us.
I could go on and there’s a whole book in me waiting to be written for you so I’ll move back on to the thing about NO and this whole thing of I can’t say no because in most situations you can. The word no can be an uncomfortable word to say in the beginning, it can take time to not only roll off the tongue but get the word anywhere near your throat in the first place but there are benefits to saying no.
⚡️It’s not rude to say NO to somebody else’s request but it gets unhealthy to say no to all of yours.
⚡️Saying NO helps you build respect from others and create clearer expectations. Otherwise you could be taken advantage of and be the one to begrudge.
⚡️Saying NO helps YOU build self respect, self worth and self esteem.
⚡️Saying NO when you don’t want to say yes will save you time, energy and resources.
⚡️You are not responsible for everyone else achieving their agenda.
Putting boundaries in place isn’t easy in the beginning but keep transforming and life will change. Relationships will change. Your opportunities will change.
I’m a huge pioneer for women and their boundaries because and I campaign for the rights of women to be heard.
Yesterday I was in the House of Lords representing the charity Paladin that I am a trustee for and talking women’s rights with pioneering women like the Baroness Royall, Laura Richards, Zoe Dronfield, Amanda Elwin and Debbie Elwin.
I have now worked with hundreds of women on boundaries and have seen women transform ‘hopeless’ relationships, their career or business success and I’ve watched the light switch back on in those eyes and their spirit.
Keep polishing your boundaries and really own that life of yours.