Communication. Ssh don’t tell everyone the big secret!

As a communication and body language coach I’m regularly asked the same question which is “What is the secret to great communication?”

I’m asked this question around relationships, I’m asked it by start up entrepreneurs, I’m asked it by managers and leaders within their field and i’m also asked it by parents and those who feel they struggle with getting their message across in any situation or being on the receiving end of someone else’s message.

The answer is no great secret and anyone can achieve great communication in an instant.

The answer is to ‘be present’ and if you can be ’emotionally present’ then you’re on to a gold medal win.

Is it really that simple?

Yes and no.

Don’t get me wrong it’s a skill and requires practice, practice and lots more practice. Then there’s patience and pausing from multi tasking (usually the hardest thing to master) but when you become present there’s a very different dynamic within the communication between you and someone else.

You come to realise that you generally are hearing people and not quite listening; hearing is physiological whilst listening is psychological. So you start listening and whilst you’re listening you’re paying attention.

  • You’re distinguishing between tones and pitches in the voice and getting more depth of intent behind the words.
  • You’re paying attention to body language and again getting a fuller picture of the communication.
  • You’re connecting more, even if it’s just in the moment and you’re never going to see this person again, the connection is there enriching your experience and theirs.
  • You feel heard, they feel heard. You get the information you need to make the decisions or choices and communicate your clear and informed response back. They hear it and boom ‘less issues from poor communication.’

Imagine being more present with your kids and partner, your family members and friends. Imagine being present with strangers, work colleagues and clients. Imagine being more present within yourself.

Last year I ran some workshops on communication in personal, social and professional relationships and the outcome was fantastic however just in that first part where we discussed what being present means and means to us as well as others, the internal lightbulbs flashing on in that room was energetically visual.

So having been asked that question twice today I figured I’d just post the answer.

Be present and if you can; be emotionally present.

Total game changer…you’re welcome!