Ask for help. Sounds so simple when others say it.

When it comes to working with clients who struggle to ask for help or live with debilitating issues such as imposter syndrome, a common thread that runs through is it feels almost impossible to ask for help.
To ask for help can cause internal conflict for many reasons: it’s a sign of weakness, it makes you look incompetent, there’s this weird thing that happens in your throat that stops the words coming out!
We can carry many reasons that block us from reaching out but here’s the thing, no one has a crystal ball and if you don’t say it then there will be few people who know you need it.
Asking for help is not a sign of weaness plain and simple. No man or woman is an island and people are rarely isolated individuals so let’s look at the attractive facts of asking for help;
  • You save time by asking someone who would know the answer.
  • You potentially save money by either saving time or saving by avoiding mistakes as you practice your way to the answer yourself.
  • By involving others there’s a sense of community, team and networking.
  • You ask for help, people ask you to help them. Hey we all like to be needed.
  • You just make things easier which is the bottom line I like in complex situations.
  • You learn new methods, new perspectives and new skills watching others work a situation.

My top 12 tips to help you ask for help…

  1. Recognise when you need help and own it inside. Start to strategise and think about resourcing to find the solution.
  2. Don’t hesitate, if you need support then go get it. The longer you hold onto the issue of asking for help the further away you will get from taking that one step towards someone.
  3. Be clear about what it is you want? That way you will deliver your request much more focused and confidently.
  4. Who do you need to ask? Think about who the right person to ask is.
  5. Have as much information about the question / issue you can so that you can deliver as bigger picture of the problem as possible.
  6. When you approach someone don’t apologise for needing help. Needing help is a normal and natural occurance, you have nothing to apologise for! I’ve never seen a job description yet that states the applicant must know absolutely everything about everything.
  7. As you frame your question use positive words, play with the tonality of your voice but keep it confident and open. Avoid high pitched delivery as this makes you appear anxious.
  8. Don’t try to break the ice of asking for help by applying the jokes focused on your self critisim, this shows a very passive side where you disempower yourself.
  9. Don’t use this time to engage in slander about someone else, passing the blame about and slanding other people isn’t connecting behaviour and indicates certain points of your character to the other peorson which may lead to them disconnecting from you.
  10. When asking a question, face the person you are talking to, head up and eye contact. Smile and look genuinely interested in the answer. Be confident, be proud and be open to the answers even if they are not what you would necessarily agree with. When you ask for someones advice they will often give it, it doesn’t mean you take it.
  11. Be available for other people to ask you for help. It’s a two way process also it’s great to be part of a community where people respect you and your knowledge and would come to you for support as well.
  12. Be grateful. Show your gratitude with a simple thank you and if it’s appropriate give a little feedback following the outcome. As someone who helps others a lot, it’s nice to hear when things work out.
Why struggle in a situation and waste time, money and feel isolated when you can create solutions with others in a fraction of the time?